Why I Failed at Being Married

I had an epiphany today. I finally figured out why I failed at being married. I finally figured out what I did wrong.

Let's rewind a bit.

I've been seeing someone. I'm not really announcing it to the world (at least not in real life), but a few of my friends know. But I've been out with this guy a couple times, and it's been fun -- more fun than being with my ex-husband had been for a very long time. I'm not planning this out, but letting it run its course.

The problem with my relationship with my ex-husband was that I expected to become someone else via our relationship. I expected us to grow because of one another rather than grow with one another.

I felt unhappy with myself and I wanted someone to fix me.

I expected my ex-husband to make me into a patient person, a laid-back person, a spontaneous person. The problem is, those expectations prevented me from ever being happy in that relationship because I am simply not built to be patient, laid-back, or spontaneous.

Today, I am happy with myself. I know that I am a type-A personality who wants instant gratification, organization, and a planned-out schedule. I am not expecting any person to fix me, because I don't need to be fixed.

As I begin dating, I realize that what I need in a date and -- eventually -- a partner is not someone who can change me into someone I am not, but rather he is someone with whom I can fit without changing.

What I will need someday in a lifetime relationship is a situation in which my partner and I are growing with one another.